Friday, March 02, 2007

What We Do When Nobody is Watching

Now that I live alone and there's no one to question my daily decisions, I wonder if the same rules apply as before. For example, the other day I wondered if it would really be that big of a deal not to shower after an evening workout. What would be the point when I would be going to bed in a few hours just to workout again right after I get up the next morning? Granted I might get up late and then get bogged down with work around the house and then it’s lunch time, so I can’t exercise before I eat because I’m too hungry, which means I delay exercise at least an hour after I eat in order to digest my food. But I get busy again after lunch, then realize that I really should go to the bank and the vet before it gets too late. By the time I get home it’s almost 4pm. Time to workout because if I don’t do it now, it’ll be time for dinner, and then I’ll have to wait another hour before I workout. God forbid I get busy again and then realize that it’s 8pm and time for my favorite show. Before I know it, it’s 10pm and I haven't worked out, or showered. So why shower when I’m just going to workout first thing in the morning? Not that I’ve ever done this, but if I did who would know?

How about eating? I am very health conscious but every once-in-awhile, okay, maybe a little more often, I take a walk on the wild side and eat a donut or drink a chocolate shake. Actually, every Thursday is brownie day, which is a story all its own, but suffice to say, I look forward to it all week. My favorite brownies are at a special bakery that I pass every Thursday. They are huge, very moist, and are covered with thick, chocolate icing. In short, they are crack, and I am addicted. Sometimes I buy two with the intention of having one today and one tomorrow. That rarely works. So the other day, instead of buying one to keep myself from eating two, I bought three, knowing full well that I would eat two that evening, saving the third one for Friday. Can you imagine how sick you would feel if you ate all three in one night? Not that I did this, but if I did, who would know?

How about kitchen utensils? For instance, I took cookies off the cookie sheet, but they stuck to the sheet, so a little bit of cookie and chocolate stuck stubbornly to the spatula. I thought to myself, wouldn’t it be easier just to lick the cookie and chocolate off the spatula and put it back in the drawer than to scrub it clean with soap and water when I’m the only one who is going to use it next? Not that I did this, but if I did, who would know?

What’s your story?

7 comments:

bryan torre said...

this is hilarious.
i've done the shower thing, more than once. end up pickup up my kid at school looking like i slept under a bridge after competing in the World Body Odor Championship.

also the donut/brownie thing. yeah, i'll only eat one of these, right.

the truth is, i'm almost never alone. i'm either at work, with my kids, or with my GF (and sometimes, her daughter).

on the rare occasions i do get a little time to myself, i walk around naked with my gut hanging out. not that anyone wanted that image...

jay are said...

great post!! and excellently written as usual...

if a tree falls in the forest and no one's around, etc....

It doesn't matter!! It's one of those benefits of living alone. (And I'm NOT suggesting that you prefer this arrangement by any means...obviously.) It's good that there are lines you've drawn and are aware of even though no one is checking the list else you might slide into utter disrepair---I would! But you're too disciplined for that I know.

Good to hear from you again. And I might have to try one of those brownies some day!

(Thanks for the visual Bryan) :)

anya ransuns aka Roxy said...

Ha! This is so funny. I love it that other people consider (and hopefully sometimes actually do) these things. One confession I have is the weird order in which I do stuff if I am in a house all alone getting ready (in the morning, or at another time of day). Like I might put on one piece of clothing (say, bra) and then decide that it is imperative that I brush my teeth at that very moment. Then while brushing my teeth, I will have to pee (Ok, i'm telling you guys way too much now, but here it is), because I actually have a somewhat inconvenient and very strong Pavlovian urination response to brushing my teeth, no matter what time of day I am doing it because in the morning I almost always 1) brush teeth 2)urinate as my first two tasks. Sooo...anyway, with that done, then I will realize I am cold. So I put on my tights. But as I'm doing it I realize that my feet need lotion because they are very very dry right now. But like one foot is already in the tights. But at least I can put it on one foot. But then I will notice my laptop on the bed and think I need to check my email...so I will kneel beside the bed and type with one leg in the tights. Then I will not be able to stand it anymore that they are uneven, so I will take the other leg out and put lotion on the other foot. Then I see an email that reminds me to call someone....and so on. It is not very efficient, but I love being able to do it this way.

Andi said...

Bryan--beware--you now have competition at the World Body Odor Championships! It's hard to find donut lovers these days. Everybody goes to starbucks and eats muffins or bagels. Lovely visual by the way. Thanks for sharing.

JayAre--i'll bring you a brownie next time I see you. One for you, two for me.

Anya Ransuns--too funny. Why don't you just pee first, then you could put lotion on your feet with one hand while brushing with the other--very efficient. I'm very glad no one can see what I'm wearing while checking email!

anya ransuns aka Roxy said...

Hey, that's a good idea -- I will have to try it that way tomorrow. As long as I keep the brushing hand the brushing hand and the other hand.....anyway...

Lisa said...

Before my daughter started drinking 1% milk, I always drank straight out of the carton. I figure, no one else around here drinks it anyway!

Now that she's 2, and can drink 1%, I have to use a glass. That just makes for more dishwashing, I tell ya!

Andi said...

Lisa--As long as nobody is watching, I really don't see the problem with still drinking out of the carton. Go for it!