This is a very different Thanksgiving, for all of us. This will be my first Thanksgiving in 15 years without Bill. Our anniversary is only days away, but a wedding in a small Mendocino church feels like a distant memory. In spite of Bill's death, I do have so many things to be thankful for. Some I have listed below.
Today I am thankful for many things. I am thankful for my parents' prayers and concerns. I'm thankful for a brother who calls me every morning to wake me up just like Bill used to do. I'm thankful for a sister who is ready to listen regardless of her schedule. I'm thankful for friends, neighbors, and extended family whose hugs, calls, cards and emails give me energy to make it over the next hurdle. I am thankful for my Kenu, whose dog wisdom knows when I need his presence and warmth. I am thankful for Willow, who provides comic relief as she bucks and bounces with her imaginary friend whenever I am in need of a good laugh. I am grateful that my physical needs are met and that I have a cozy home and beautiful yard. I am thankful for our mind's ability to remember, and forget. I am thankful for cameras and the photos that remind me of special people, moments, experiences and places. I am thankful for hope and comfort, and for all the signs that I have received the last few weeks. These signs remind me that this grief is but one brush stroke on the canvas of life, pieces of a "mosaic in the making."* However, I wish I could avoid the "rain in bottles breaking." So many bottles. So many pieces. So much rain. Yet, still, so many reasons to be thankful. (*see "Coming Undone" post)
Have a great Thanksgiving!